Dimensions of Perception: The Proposal of Schizophrenia/Disassociative/Depersonalization Disorders as Possible Multi-Dimensional Experience

schizophrenia butterfly

Let me first begin by saying I am in no way a scientist or a professional by any means, nor have any proof of the things I am saying. I have commented on what I have read or seen when applicable. These are merely ponderances I have made recently from various new informations I have received and am considering.

At psychcentral.com there is a test that anyone can take to evaluate whether or not they may be schizophrenic or have schizophreniform~type disorders. The questions are as follows.

I feel that others control what I think and feel.

I hear or see things that others do not see.

I feel it is very difficult for me to express myself in words that others can understand.

I feel I share absolutely nothing in common with others, including my friends and family.

I believe in more than one thing about reality and the world around me that nobody else seems to believe in.

Others don’t believe me when I tell them the things I see and hear.

I can’t trust what I’m thinking because I don’t know if it’s real or not.

I have magical powers that nobody else has or can explain.

Others are plotting to get me.

I find it difficult to get ahold of my thoughts.

I am treated unfairly because others are jealous of my special abilities.

I talk to another person or other people inside my head that nobody else can hear.

I took this test, and this was my score.

” 31. Based upon your responses to this schizophrenia screening measure, you appear to have some signs commonly associated with schizophrenia or a schizophrenia-related disorder. Your responses are similar to others who experience symptoms of schizophrenia or a schizophrenia-related disorder. This includes symptoms such as hallucinations and/or delusions, a poverty of speech, and/or emotional “flattening.” ”

Obviously I don’t have a poverty of speech, and I don’t suffer from any delusions that others control me, are plotting to get me or treat me unfairly, but as for the rest I can definitely be classified as closely associated with the disease.

My mother suffers from disassociative disorder, which was better~known back in the day as multiple personality, a schizophreniform disorder. She has four personalities that I have witnessed. I grew up in a world where demons were outside waiting to get in and evil lurked around every corner. Through her, God ruled with an iron fist, isolating us from the rest of the world.

I have quite a bit of insight into what it’s like to be mentally ill. I suffered with bipolar disorder with schizophrenic tendencies many years of my life, bouncing from one medication to the other. I was never irreversibly ill, but doctors believed I was. As a child, I thought that aliens were waiting in a space ship above me in the sky (which was actually a star), to take me away. They spoke to me through music I listened to (don’t laugh, it was Billy Idol’s “Whiplash Smile”), and told me exactly how to act and what to say to be good enough for them. I kept a diary specifically for their instructions.

Watched

Later in life I experienced paranoia, such as video cameras put in certain places to watch me. Still to this day I sometimes have fleeting thoughts about being watched, or that there are video cameras around, but it no longer controls me or affects my life. During my most depressive era I had an infestation of leprechauns that lived in a certain coffee table. My sisters experienced them as well. They would make things disappear. I remember having burned the table, but my sister recently told me that she still has the table but has no further problems with leprechauns.

I would hear voices that would try, gently and lovingly, to make me realize that everyone I loved would be much better off if I were dead. I would have visions of sacrificing myself to giant insect creatures who awaited with bloody mandibles. I sought to silence the voices and visions with drugs and alcohol.

Today, thanks to a lot of work and guidance I am as ‘normal’ as anyone else; free of medication, drugs and alcohol. What was diagnosed as sickness has now become strength, and permanent, disabling depression and neuroses have disappeared forever. I look back and see that much of what was misdiagnosed as brain dysfunction was, in fact, situational, requiring twenty years of self-psychotherapy to cure.

Some might look at the ‘kooky’ claims I make on this website and think I’m still crazy, but one thing I do know is that I am living my dreams in every way, a heaven on Earth that few people believe is possible. I’m successful and happy, surrounded by those who love me and whom I love. My beliefs have worked for me.

My family still suffers, though my siblings are curing themselves in leaps and bounds. There is ADD/ADHD, Alice In Wonderland syndrome, Depersonalization/Derealization disorders and others evident in my family.

depersonalization img

In fact, I cannot think of one person on either side of my family tree that is ‘normal’. One might hear all this and think my family is cursed with mental illness. Disorders such as ADD and ADHD may be associated with brain dysfunction, but much that my family experiences seems like a matter of dimensions to me, and this is the basis of the proposal.

I have read and heard of theories suggesting that schizophrenics live in in many dimensions at once, unable to exist solely in this dimension without being aware of the others. I watched the movie Consciousness Mechanics (posted on this website), in which it describes spacelines v/s timelines; spacelines being the minute differences between dimensions here on Earth, in moments that change with the choices we make, such taking a car ride instead of walking.

The increasing number of diagnoses, such as this Alice In Wonderland syndrome and Depersonalization, have the exact same semantics as spiritual practice, and yet people are perceiving these states of mind to be detrimental. My daughter suffers from Depersonalization, which she explains as looking in the mirror and not recognising her body. Alice In Wonderland syndrome is experienced by my little sister, who feels that certain parts of her body are suddenly larger than the universe. I am beginning to believe that people are mistaking possible incredible cosmic experiences with a mental disorder, due to lack of information, fear of the unknown and the world’s increasing dependence on medications and cures for anything that seems abnormal.

Let me begin with my definition of dimensions of perception on Earth as opposed to actual, parallel dimensions to the one we currently exist in on this Earth.

Let us say that I found out some good news that causes me to feel elation, something I perceive will make my life much easier in days to come, such as an inheritance left to me due to a distant relative’s death. Suddenly the world seems boundless and possibilities endless. Walking down the street I will notice that people seem happy and carefree. The sky is more blue than usual, the sun warm and inviting. Doors will be opened for me and opportunities will present themselves that may have not been available on an average day. Every human on Earth can attest to this, we’ve all experienced such days.

Are people really walking around just as they are, with my perception as what has changed? Am I literally witnessing smiles on the faces of people who are actually frowning, or those with neutral expressions? The answer is no. I can look at a person and see their teeth as they smile. I can experience what is happening in real time, just as it is taking place.

Let’s say that another person walking down the same street has been devastated by the death of a close loved one. Does he or she experience carefree, smiling people everywhere? Is the sky so blue, the sun so warm and inviting? That person may feel a cold wind or the sun may seem to glare blindingly into their eyes. People will seem solemn, rushed, unfriendly, and all sorts of unsatisfactory occurrences will happen to them that may have not happened on an average day.

Which experience is real? Both are happening simultaneously, at the same point in space/time. It’s the same street, the same people. It seems to me that both people are experiencing actual reality as it is experienced by the individual. Would it not be said that these two people are living in different spacial dimensions?

The difference between dimensions is just that, difference. Each time I choose to go left instead of right I am changing my reality. Each time I choose a good mood over a bad one I am changing my reality. The hypotheses on dimensions are that we are simultaneously living in many dimensions at once, but are only aware of the current dimension due to the focus of our consciousness. But it seems that dimensions break down further, moment by moment based on the choices we make which are not only altering our current dimension but creating more subtle, wavelike dimensions within the current dimension we are focused on.

Dimensional Travel

In relation to people with schizophrenia and schizophreniform disorders, what is really going on? On the website livingwithschizophreniauk.org, it notes that people born deaf who develop schizophrenia hear voices. How could this be, having never heard a voice before in their lives? Additionally, schizophrenics hear voices of loved one that have passed away. This is a documented experience of those who leave their bodies and travel to different dimensions. However, there are things about the voices schizophrenics hear that do not sound to me like dimensional experiences rather than the voice of the twisted ego, so there is much to consider before making any sort of hypothesis or claim.

What if, as some theories suggest, people with schizophrenic/ schizophreniform disorders are literally unable to focus solely on this current Earth dimension? To them, reality would constantly change, while to us it seems to stay the ‘same’, whatever dimension of perception we are existing within at the time. Therefore, an unexpected shift in attitude or personality would be perceived to us as abnormal when, in fact, they were responding appropriately to what they perceive around them.

As with the voice that tried to convince me I’d be better off dead, I doubt that anyone in an alternate dimension is attempting to convince my other~dimensional self to die. This sounds more like the perception that one has based on feelings about themselves. We don’t yet know how profound an impact belief has upon influencing the thoughts of the believer, but quantum biochemistry is working to explain the effects of thought on man and the world around us.

Most of the voices schizophrenics hear are telling them harmful or hurtful things, but this is not always true. This is one major strike against these disorders as multi~dimensional experiences in my mind, because I don’t believe that “ill” people are all from some dimension where they are being manipulated and abused by others.

Schizophrenia and Dimension Travel

I’ve recently gone online to find schizophrenic people that are talking about their experiences, to differentiate what could be ego or brain atrophy from anything that could be described as dimensional experience.

In one conversation, a person explained that they not only broadcast their thoughts but also transmit thoughts. They are aware that others can hear their thoughts, and that they can hear others thoughts. They not only believe others can feel their emotions but that they can feel others emotions. The purpose of the blog was to assuage those like him/her not to think about it and use techniques such as meditation and relaxation to combat the paranoia and confusion that comes along with the symptoms, as well as learning self-love and acceptance.

The science of thought as a vibrational frequency assures us that our thoughts are, in fact, broadcast in the form of vibrations, perhaps not actual words but the emotion behind them. Telepathy is a documented ability that some people have. Emotional states are also vibrations, which can be felt by ’empaths’, which I myself have been since I was a child. What causes these ‘symptoms’ to be considered detrimental?

This person speaks of having the gift to manipulate and ‘mentally torture’ people, and his/her ability to exist in negative states quite well. Has our condemnation of people with abilities, as well as our diagnoses of them as ‘abnormal’ and ‘sick’, caused what would possibly have been a positive, powerful experience to become twisted and malevolent? If everyone around this person would have been supportive and understanding, would his/her experience been entirely different, and the hallucinations positive instead of negative? Many native peoples and tribes around the world embrace hallucinations, visions and voices, and take in those who are experiencing these things, nurturing and harboring them until the experience passes. Many of these people turn out to be shamans, who go on to heal others when their time in the ‘spirit world’ is done.

Another blog was two people talking about how their religious hallucinations made them want to be more religious, to judge less, to go to church more and to pray for pedophiles, in particular. My own experience with a ‘religious’ hallucination, in which “god” came to me in the sunlight (I was an atheist until that moment), changed my life in every way. Could these experiences be not hallucinations but actual ‘religious’ experiences?

Schizophrenia and DImensions

One blogger spoke of invisible creatures that observed them at all times, watching, listening and mind reading. This person didn’t feel like the creatures were out to harm them, but was asking others if anyone could explain. Could this person be aware of spiritual guides surrounding him or her?

These are questions that should eventually be answered.

Schizo and Alone

Reading these online community comments has caused a deep grief to well inside me. These people are isolated, tortured and helpless, reaching out to a world that has no answers, only fear. They are doped up with powerful sedatives which further complicate the process of self~discovery and self~psychotherapy. Without the stigma of sickness and the fear that accompanies misunderstanding, our ‘mentally ill’ members of the human family might be our most powerful members.

Could soul travel be the answer? Would the scientific community give more credence to dimensional travel if it meant somehow meeting these people dimension by dimension and helping them work through their confusion? These thoughts are in the infant stage, nowhere near valid enough to claim. However, I want to know more.

Experience: The Great All~That~Ever~Is

Here you go, the answers to every question ever asked. Wrap your mind around it, if you dare. I believe I may have to watch it another 19 times before I can even begin to comprehend the depths of…well, any of it.

It explains the physics of what time is (and is not). It explains that everything around us is mirrors of ourselves, and that we are only experiencing the world through our own eyes; that colours are not colours but in our own minds, that voices are nothing more than vibrations we give texture and tone, that even the words on this page, rejected by some and embraced by others, are meaningless but for the meanings we design them to take. It touches on the actuality of inifity, timelines versus spacelines, and all that science currently theorizes about parallel dimensions. Once you are done with this video you look around and realize you’ve entered an alien atmosphere as an explorer in a dimension unfamiliar to you where nothing is as it seems.

This idea of the physics of consciousness, as well as the ‘hard problem’ of it, is very controversial. Whether or not you buy any of it is your choice. This is one of many current theories of man. I think I can safely say that anyone who has knowledge of these ideas scientifically, or has experienced other planes or dimensions; anyone who has had a ‘religious experience’ can attest to the fact that there is much more that we, as phyiscal beings, don’t know than what we know. Without any concrete evidence of your own you cannot discount these facts, nor can any of us account for them other than personal experience. I will say that my personal out of body experiences, written about in the post Foreversong, have proven much of this to be on the right track. For me this is but the tip of the monolith, these concepts I have had no previous experience with.

I will be the first to admit that I am not unlike a caveman, holding a stick in each hand. I have put the sticks side by side and learned to add. One plus one equals two. This video has put two sticks together as well and has come up with many of the same conclusions that I have, though of course my conclusions are much the basic versions of ideas presented here.

I consider myself a unique candidate for many unbiased conclusions. I have spent most of my life a hermit. I have not grown up with television. I have not watched the news, reality shows, talk shows or listened to the radio. I have not spent my life reading books or pondering the great philosophers. I am largely clueless about the state of the world. I don’t shop at the mall, I don’t have friends that I meet for drinks who talk about current affairs. Some people who know me have been hurt by my reclusiveness, and for that I am sorry. Over 40 years I have come to accept that this is what I am, despite years of guilt over not being more sociable and the repercussions of my way of life upon my family and friends.

Many may think my life to be useless, uneducated, out~of~touch and even criminally selfish and uncompassionate. However, those who know me best would disagree. I have dedicated my life to working on myself, even in the midst of profound mistakes and utter chaos. While others have attended to the outer world, and have gained much materiality that I do not have, I have worked only on the inner world. In the end, working on oneself is the greatest way to be of any benefit to others. This much I know for a fact to be true.

Now that I have come out into the world I touch and am touched by those who I would have only caused suffering before. Now that I am on the internet and attending college, reading books, learning things, I find that many of the conclusions I have come to, utterly devoid of outside influence, are being proven by a group of people more vast than I ever could have imagined. Perhaps these people are the frings, and do not share the widely~agreed~upon opinion of the mass, but I only wish to be a part of this. I’m not trying to force my views on anyone, merely share my thoughts with like minds.

Having given my disclaimers, you will take from this video what you will.

Quantum Physics and Consciousness

I’ve just found this video today and it blew my mind.

These past couple of years have been spent moving towards a degree in astrophysics in order to have access to the physical proofs of what I have experienced in astral travel and soulwork in general. I’ve been hoping that the more I learn about the universe, the more I can find answers to some of mankind’s most unanswered questions. I want to be on the forefront of the movement, to find ways to prove that consciousness is, in fact, scientific; entering into the workforce as a non~physical creature searching for the connections between science and soul, while keeping to a strict honesty within myself, as unclouded by my own beliefs and ideologies as is possible.

The importance of the secrecy of my intent is that science still needs proof derived through non~’religious’ eyes. If I were to step into the physics community spouting ‘new age’ jargon about vibrational frequencies and light as the gods that we are, I would not only destroy my chance to be acknowledged as a viable equal amongst them but would hold myself back from beneficial relationships and opportunities that would be available to me were I to keep my true intentions veiled.

postmodernism

While I admire those like Peter Russell who speak about the science of spirit openly, I feel that there is a time and place for all things. Russell’s recounts of Copernicus, Galileo and Newton remind me that there is a point to a cautious approach.

“Copernicus came up with his idea, but the establishment then was the church and he wouldn’t even publish because he was scared of what the church would say. When…Galileo, 70 years later, looked through his telescope and came up with evidence to support Copernicus, it’s said the cardinals refused to look down the telescope because they knew he must be wrong. And it was, really, another 70 years after that when Newton came along and did the mathematics and proved it was right that the idea got accepted.”

Though I am hardly in danger of being tortured and hanged like those that have come before me, the science of soul is still a very taboo subject. Being a newly~arrived apprentice to these brilliant minds, I am hesitant to ask any questions or offer any of my own theories.

Quantum Physics

This video is much about quantum physics, yet simple enough for the layperson to understand. It breaches subjects that range from the conscious states of plants and animals to a brief analysis of verifiable evidence that the universe, itself, is arranged in such a way that every natural act is that of it discovering itself again, from a cosmic level down to the hot soil we call home. Russell explains it all in the common tongue, devoid of new age jargon that I, myself, am often imprisoned by.

For instance, I speak a lot of the illusion of human existence. To me, this doesn’t mean that life is literally an illusion, rather that if someone believes that any part of life is set in stone and unchangeable, or that outside forces beyond their control dictate their life story, they are imprisoned by the illusion of lack of control that most of mankind suffers from. But Russell reminds me that there is nothing illusory about life because consciousness is relative, completely real to the experiencer. If someone believes they have no control it is not an illusion: they literally have no control. He goes further to say that whether or not it’s all an illusion, the single thing that can be said to be real is that we are experiencing. This is something I’ve considered often.

quantum multiverse

After having listened to this a couple of times I am considering leaning away from astronomy and more towards quantum physics. To live my daily life immersed in theories of multiple universes and matter would be a dream come true. Russell explains that it is the quantum field of physics which has proven that nothing is set in stone, that energy is all that exists in the universe, and that randomness and symmetry are equal companions in the grand scheme. This fact was suggested with the discovery of the Higgs boson, a particle whose weight lay almost exactly between the weights proposed by both those who believe that the universe exists in perfect harmony (Super-Symmetry) and those who believe that chaos is an inevitable (Chaos Theory). For more on this subject watch the awe~inspiring documentary “Particle Fever”, directed by Mark Levinson.

What was most fascinating to me was his discussion of quantum physics’ continued considerations of matteras a creation of consciousness. No one knows what matter is made of, and particles are not actually ‘particles’. In the vacuum of interstellar space, particles sometimes emerge from nothing and disappear again from whatever place they came. There’s so much we still don’t know.

Glittering-Metropolis-of-Stars

There’s so much in this video, so many things I’ve wondered at. Definitely worth an hour of your time should you be so inclined.