Man’s need for understanding and acceptance is almost universally shared, as is man’s cynical outlook on the possibility of these desires fulfilled. However, as realistic as we are about human relationships and as honest as we are about the odds, most of us are still secretly wishing for that one person that understands; that true love, that fairy tale love that too many no longer believe exists. That love would be the answer to every question rumbling inside like so many earthquakes, upheavals of the abandoned soul.
These days technologically-sponsored interaction often replaces the one~on~one experience and relationships rarely last. Many people have become resigned to be with whoever comes along and acts interested, or who has the most details in common. Once in a relationship, the “honeymoon period” doesn’t last long enough, and alertness to the fact that something is still missing dulls. People don’t think it’s odd that they are not getting what they need from a relationship because they look around and see that no one else is getting what they need, either.
Eventually these relationships evolve based on past negative experiences and bitter bonds are formed, walls that hold people from true acceptance and agreement. Categories are created and filled as being right takes top priority. Soon it’s man against woman or alpha against beta.
Many people have never known what happiness feels like, but that doesn’t stop them from wanting it. Deep inside, that ‘something’s not right’ feeling hunts them, keeps them ill at ease. Days, months and years wind by in lonliness and singularity and sometimes people just give up.
Spiritual study can make us feel like something is wrong with us if we haven’t created that perfect someone in our lives. The fairy tale relationship is widly publicized in such circles. There are websites on the “twin flame” relationship, with suggestions on how to draw our Other Half towards us by opening our chakras or sending out energies. We start to believe that we cannot be whole without the Other in our lives.
We take up the quest. In every face we search for the One, knowing that once we find he/she our troubles will be over. But the “true Flame” relationship is even rare amongst those who have found who they were searching for. There are all manner of documented accounts of those who feel they’ve found their “twin flame” but have been rejected. After awhile people feel their time ticking away and fear they won’t know how to tell if they’ve passed the Other by without knowing it. The entire process is rife with sorrow and uncertainty, like staring into the abyss of eternal longing.
Some spiritual teachers claim that there is no such thing as a “twin soul”, because we are all originate from the same Source. They are right. However, there is definitely something akin to the twin soul out there. I know because I have found mine. Perhaps He is the closest in proximity vibrationally, I’m not sure. All I know is that I have found what everyone is searching for.
From this vantage point I look around and see that every one of us is headed towards this end, if not in this life then eventually. I was once lonely, misunderstood and misunderstanding just like everyone else. One day loneliness no longer served my purpose, and only then the Other came. If I’d have spent those years perfecting myself instead of obsessed with the search for someone to make me feel whole, I’d have saved myself much anguish and been more an equal to Him, who had spent His years wisely.
Look around you, you’ll see the process everywhere. There are trees that have grown thick of trunk in the forest as well as those that are ripped from the soil to make way for shopping malls in the city. There are cats who are starving, discarded on some gravel road and there are those whose job it is to be loved. Everyone and everything is in the process of change, or the refusal of change.
Once you have found your Other, you will look back from heaven and see that we really are choosing our reality moment by moment. You’ll be able to trace every single step it took to get there. You’ll see that every year of loneliness was of dire importance to your growth and that you had to take every step in order to be in the perfect position to benefit (and get benefit from) such a love.
What is it that you are moving towards? Bliss. Utter and complete cooperation. Total understanding and acceptance, eternally. “Arguments” consist of one person wanting the other to choose the movie you will watch. Every choice is made together, falling into the rhythm of picking up where the other left off, whatever that may mean. It does not mean you are perfect, it means that you allow the other completely, and they you.
Twin flame relationships are so often sensationalized by images of sexual beings interlocked in embrace. Though the human, sex~based versions of ecstasy are true of this relationship physical desire is secondary, the least of the pure ecstasy a complete soul union with another is capable of providing: another entire dimension of life, unspoken words between the words, exquisite moments invisible to the crowd, inside jokes that no one else would care to comprehend, full cooperation. It is a relationship too magical and amazing to be shared with others, and often sharing it generally causes people to feel the lack in their own lives. Thus, the discovery of the “final home” within another should be a journey the two of you take largely alone. You won’t need to tell people about it, everyone will benefit from what you’ve found.
Many videos you can watch about this topic speak of a certain responsibility these couples have to the world, two souls as “Lightgivers” (or any number of other names) who must dedicate themselves to use their connection to help those around them in some way. It’s not something you must go out of your way to achieve. By simply learning to love yourself completely through your love of the Other, the two of you carry Light wherever you go. Everyone that knows you loves to be in your presence because you love yourself, and them. You are comfortable with yourself enough that you can be comfortable with anyone just as they are. People pick up on that, they hunger for acceptance. It’s incredible to watch people melt and soften, laugh and be themselves because they are allowed to. Even those who react negatively to everyone else can’t get enough of the Love that spills so organically out to them through the Two. Every moment that others are allowed through you to be the very best they can be, they move towards their own goals, their own dreams realized, their own Love. Twin Flames are mirrors that reflect the very best of others back at them.
The first step is to give up the obsession with finding such a One. In this lifetime you may and you may not. The truth of the matter is that your true intent may even be hidden from you; you may have come here specifically not to find your Other. You won’t continue to put yourself in a position to be alone once your time to be alone is done. It’s the hardest thing to do, to give up searching for the Other. You need, instead, to wait for the Other, and in that waiting do them (and the world) the service of perfecting yourself.
I met my Other ten years before we realized we were One…whatever being One means. Thank the stars I had that ten years, I would have ruined it all. When I met Him I was a drug~addicted depressive, the opposite of what Love represents. Even once I knew He was mine I squandered precious years, feeling like the time ticking away between us was lost forever. I used to wonder if we would ever be ours. The stress I put on Him because of my rushing only made our separation more difficult. I spent every moment attempting to somehow force events to work in our favour. It only hindered our progress towards eachother. Hindsight is, indeed, 20/20.
One single year with the Other made up for a literal eternity that I was alone. October marked our 5th anniversary, and we laughed thinking about past times that seemed so profoundly desperate. We must always remember that time really does not exist. Six minutes can be a lifetime in bliss, and we still have 40 years ahead of us.
How do you know if you have found your Other? I have seen this question asked over and over. The answer is resounding: you cannot not know. If you aren’t sure then chances are it’s not the Other you’ve found. You begin remembering not only the past lives you’ve spent with them but those you’ve spent without them. Synchronicity and symmetry abound, such as happening to look at the clock every time it is 11:11. Everywhere you look they are there, in everything. Magic happens all around you. Whether or not the two of you are ready to be together, or ready to make changes so that you can be, you both know without a doubt that you were somehow meant.
When I first found Him we thought of ourselves as twins in the sibling sense. I called him Brother, He called me Sister. Slowly our feelings grew but we denied them, as we were both in other relationships at the time. One day He happened upon Twin Flame videos on YouTube, but kept them from me because they all had some sexual connotation or spoke of two in love. Two weeks later I happened upon the same videos quite by accident. He confessed to having already seen them. We both knew that we were Twin Flames, but wondered why there were no videos about those who were Sister and Brother like us. We searched for others and couldn’t find them. Eventually we had to accept that we were in love.
I broke my bonds first, which went more smoothly than I could have planned. The dissolution of His relationship, in the end, had nothing to do with Him. Everything happened as it should because we were never dishonest or untrue. Rushing anything before its time would have caused a catastrophe and possibly may have kept us apart. I have heard accounts of those who are too afraid to change everything about their lives and go on without one another. This seems devastating, but I can easily see how it might happen.
My Other had much more to change and to lose than I did. He was married with children, whereas I only had a boyfriend. He could very well have refused to change and spent His life without me. The decision would have been agonizing, but His wife was already not happy and it was she who ended the relationship. Now she is happy; going back to school, moving towards realization of her dreams, and the children enjoy two families that love them. My ex~boyfriend started biking and eating right, cut his hair off and lost weight and is now doing well also. We’re better friends than we ever were. It’s worked out splendidly for all involved.
It’s important to remember that this union is the most beneficial to mankind. Moving mountains to make it happen, no matter how heavy, will benefit all involved, though doing this dishonestly will be your downfall. It’s also important to remember that moving towards your own happiness is the most beneficial step for mankind as well, no matter what that means doing. This fleeting human life is so small compared to what awaits, you are only hindering yourself if you refuse to take measures to move towards joy.
I do feel like finding Him has been the final step, in a sense. By letting go of the longing I now can fill that time with more important things. However, I only found Him because I was waiting, because that was the end I wanted from this life. Finding one who accepts you completely can be the final step you asked for in accepting yourself, which is one of the major reasons you’re here. So much of the things that bothered you incessantly about the world fade away and become pointless to discuss because you don’t want to ruin the moment.
The realization returns again and again: living as if we have already made our dreams come true is what calls those very dreams into being. Your wait for the Other is best suited to becoming the happiest you, the most peaceful you, the “You” that you will be once you find Love with a capital “L”.