P. I ~ When Things Fall Into Place
Pt. II ~ Choose Your Diversion
Pt. III ~ The Endurance of Aeons
I can feel a definite progression in the potency and length of euphoric epiphanies that follow harder lessons. I have noticed that when I feel like what is happening to me is out of my control, it gets out of control quickly. No matter how out of control life seems to become, accepting it just as it is, for exactly what it is, diffuses the situation and turns the tide. The more difficult the situation is to accept, the more euphoric the act of accepting it becomes.
It’s nice when you’re a Zen master and you can hold yourself steady, but for most of us there’s the roller coaster rise and fall, with in~between times that are made up of simply living (which is all that any of it is, anyway).
It seems that the hardest challenges of life are usually indicators of the final moments of a particular era. Before I discovered how incredible this very human life could be I wasn’t sure what the purpose of living was, and I can imagine that many people feel that way.
This particular euphoric time has lasted a couple of weeks. I went to work as usual, listening to Alan Watts on headphones. When I listen consistently to those who have tapped into the silence, I get quiet and still and open inside, filled with an energetic bliss. Most of us are walking around literally blocked off inside, like a electrical wire that has been cut. You can feel your body buzzing when you’re empty enough to have room to be filled. Things look different, feel different, as if you’re alive for the first time. People who once caused you pain soften in your presence or make kind gestures they never would have before, and you realize that it’s because you have released them from the prison your opinions of them have created.
Everything, even inanimate objects, seems to have its own life, which you can feel a new~found respect for. Traffic works in your favor. Money begins to flow from directions you never would have imagined, but if it doesn’t you don’t even worry about it because you know that even falling is heading a direction.You can literally feel the design, everything working in accordance with the whole.
Even after this euphoric time had faded, miracles continued to occur, more precise than I could even have planned them. The day we didn’t have money to buy potatoes, tuna and paper towels, grandmother dropped by and brought us all of those things, along with the coffee I had only secretly wished for but never put on the list. And this is the least of examples.
We’re so used to thinking that we’re supposed to get out there and do something to make our lives better, but that isn’t how we were made at all. When things come together it may appear to be something we did or even luck, when in fact it was due to our attitude towards life and how open we were to letting things flow as they will.
Humans tend to be terrified of not being able to control everything and we tend to learn things the hard way. Without consistent and deliberate focus on all the things that come together, life certainly appears to be in a state of constant decay. It’s because we have been programmed to believe that the negative is what we should focus on, and that the positive is something unattainable. Because the people in control do not have the common man’s interest in mind, it seems as if there is no point in hoping for something more.
Sometimes I have a physically negative reaction to letting go of the concept of having control. I watch my brain reject notions to trust that whatever comes will be as I have designed it. Once we see the pattern, that whatever happened, no matter how “good” or “bad”, was what we needed to progress, it’s easier to let go.
In this most recent era, once I became still and peaceful enough inside, that energetic bliss began to flow and my consciousness began to expand. During work I went about my business as if lost in a dream, yet I was more able to do my job with greater clarity.
When I got home from work I would go outside and sit in my flower garden beneath the tallest tree and put a particular song on repeat, Veneficum’s “Endurance of Aeons” which I share later in this post. I would spend an hour staring up at the cosmos, which had replaced the place the sky should have been. Waves of pure ecstasy, which I have only ever experienced out~of~body, washed over me. I was beyond silence, beyond this life. I could see the entire universe and could feel myself as a part of it until I no longer was “I”, rather, “It”. Every single living thing on this planet and any other, as well as those things we believe not to have life, were equally me, and I was equally them, and together (if it could be said that we were separate to begin with) we were all It.
For a week there was no sky, only the universe that I explored every day after work. It is difficult to explain this, because my exploration of the universe was not a movement on my part, rather the universe would come to me; sitting in my plastic chair, staring beyond the precipice of the tallest tree, all I had to do was imagine moving through the universe and it would be so, though it was the universe that moved and not I.
It wasn’t merely the moments in my garden to the music that were filled with such an ecstasy, though it most often washed over me while the music was playing. I’m still not sure why this particular music called such a euphoria home, but the entire album kept it flowing. When I was not listening to the music (which was rare for at least a week), I was swimming in the utterly blissful silence of that universe which I knew myself to be a part of, a universe I could feel every single molecule of.
As with previous mystical experiences, I found myself having the ability to live the entire life span of any object or soul in the universal ocean. In this state time was utterly meaningless, as was distance. Billions of years went by in the blink of an eye, and all knowledge was available to me though I could not write it or speak of it, which I will go into more detail about later.
It was my intention when I created this website to prove that any one of us can have these experiences, we need only reach for them. It’s so hard to imagine being everything at once, being able to be anything or anywhere, moving forward and back across the timeline as you well please. It’s hard to believe that it’s possible, until catching a glimpse of what being human means from a soul’s perspective, and considering how long infinity really is.
These are the gifts we gave ourselves as diversions from the malleable illusion that surrounds us! What’s Out There can and should be explored. If we had never physically matured from birth to adulthood, we would only be able to see a part of the spectrum of what’s possible to experience as a human. I remember when my daughter re~visited the elementary school she grew up in. “It’s so small! I remember it being so big.” In that same way, without seeing what is Next, it is typical of us when human to forget that anything else exists.
I can imagine that this euphoria might be what a Zen master experiences all the time, once the mind is silenced and the energy of Everything is flowing constantly through the body. You will often see depictions of these rare people with a smile and a glimmer in their eye, as if they know something we do not. We imagine that being them means that we are quiet inside, that our thoughts no longer control our lives and our interactions with others. But silence is not just silence, as these moments remind me when they occur. Magic exists, and what awaits us is so much more incredible and euphoric than we can even begin to comprehend. The irony is that once such magic is experienced there is little ability to relay that experience to others; either because they could not or would not believe it, or because it goes so far beyond language’s ability to describe it. As you’ve heard from any number of teachers, to cease to think or speak about a thing and become it is where the magic is at. Everything falls right into place, and it’s easy to see that nothing is ever permanent, that no reality is set in stone.
Why do spiritual teachers rarely talk about their daily mystical experiences? Firstly, because when you are being something you can’t talk about it. Secondly, because they do not focus on the ecstasy or the mystical experience. Neither of these are a stopping place, but a waysign that you are headed in the right direction. Pure ecstasy and flying through the cosmos at will aren’t the end of this tale, and that has been very clear to me throughout this experience. Believe it or not, an experience more ecstatic than pure ecstasy is living this life exactly as it is, accepting it exactly as it is. It seems difficult to comprehend, but this exact life that you are living now could be the most amazing mystical journey you have ever known.
To be honest, you reading this right now are all that has heard this tale from me, because I want to keep my diary going, to chart any new territory I can. Usually when such a time takes place I will share it with my Other as it occurs, but at the time the experience was too profound for words. Even now that it is over I find I do not speak of it in detail to those who know me.
I feel like this inability to share my experience with others is proof that I have taken a step in the right direction, because we can talk or listen all we want, but until we become what we are talking about or listening to, it’s not really getting us anywhere. I never understood it when teachers said that until now.
This era actually began weeks ago, emerging from days of listening to Eckhardt Tolle and Alan Watts on Youtube. Slowly my pure vinegar state, spoken of in the previous post When Things Fall Apart, faded and I found myself once again in the grasp of that undying knowledge that all is well, always and in all ways.
Then my closest friend sent me an album via email and the music intensified my experience. I found the songs building inside me, each epic ending adding to the symphony of life around me, enhancing nature in all its unbridled glory. Have you ever listened to music that seemed to make nature come alive? It was so.
All natural life visibly changed before me. Rocks and leaves were kaleidoscopically symmetrical. Birds flew together in geometric shapes. The tallest tree in the garden which I mentioned earlier was a prime object of the music’s desire.
“…wind blows through two groups of leaves side by side at its summit. I call them the Sisters. They echo each other, responding to the song with movement from the wind. They blow in time to the beat, tens of thousands of leaves all moving in their own dances, touching each other or moving away, all perfection. Butterflies are mating this time of year and their chaotic circling mirrors the butterfly~heartbeat of the bass drums. I thought of that beat as a butterfly heart long before the garden, but magic now provides real butterflies to go with the music, one of a billion small gifts that being able to comprehend my cosmic ancestry allows.
“To that song in the garden I return to Stillevarden, in the process of exploring beyond the familiar beach to the east and beyond.
“My mind is absolutely still, fixed in one point while everything else moves around it. I become immersed in swoons of epiphany, when answers to life’s greatest questions are all revealed yet I am too silent inside to pen any of it down. The writer in me, as well as the ego, wants to capture each one of the most brilliant and unique concepts I’ve ever connected with, but to put pen to paper would end the moment, because I am truth itself. So much of this ecstasy cannot be shared, nor brought back to hot soil upon my return.
“We all have this gift, it is our legacy as part of Everything. We can access all knowledge if we get quiet enough. An unnameable ecstasy washes over me in waves as I look out over the entire universe. I can’t see the blue of the sky, only the black of space and every single thing in it. Being it. Overwhelmed. At total peace. Taken and in tears for the utter bliss I am experiencing, but liquid never touches my cheeks. Over and over the song takes me there. Over and over I am all that exists, all at once, rapt in the absolute endlessness of eternity and what that means.
“Everything around me begins to melt into me. I become part of everyone I meet. Total acceptance, total understanding. People blossom like flowers in my presence, becoming their most beautiful parts because of the great space inside me. During eras such as this of feeling the Oneness of all things, I can’t help but be in inner tears to witness how being Everything flows through me to others. It’s never anything I am, or anything I am doing, it’s that I am an empty vessel filled with light, and that I’m being still enough to reflect the cosmos. People aren’t seeing me, but that part of the universe that is inside them. They are seeing their own beauty through me.”
You may wonder what the point of being able to access all knowledge is, if we cannot bring any of it back with us. This experience has happened to me several times, yet I am not rich, I have not solved world hunger and I do not know the cure for cancer. While there are people that have tapped in and brought inventions and cures back with them, I am neither focused nor disciplined enough to put any piece of knowledge into action.
So…what’s the point, then? When considering a puzzle, each piece, alone, makes no sense. It’s not until the entire puzzle is seen completed that the full picture can
be viewed. The ego says that we need to see signs and wonders to believe in anything mystical, that we have to bring something back with us to prove where we’ve been, but once you are flooded with universal truth, the big picture is that you are okay, just as you are. You are doing exactly as you should be, and so is every other thing in the universe. This is the only knowledge that is needed! It is from this vantage point that joy and peace can be attained in this world just as it is, with all its challenges and difficulties. Only then can we be of true benefit to ease the suffering that exists here.
Speaking of suffering…simultaneously with this euphoric time, I began witnessing a surge in serious life~changing events going on with my closest friends. My brother was thrown in prison for 45 years for a crime he did not commit, shaking our family to its core. A friend of mine that suffers from severe depressions hit a bad patch and began hearing voices again. My brother~in~law faced possible prostate cancer and my sister contracted a strange lung virus that wouldn’t go away. Her son, a nephew that is also like a son to me, found himself once more suicidal.
All I could do was listen to any of them that wanted to relay their experience, but because I was writing and listening through the Great Everything That Is, my love had more of a healing affect than it would have otherwise. I could not lament any of them as I would have before, wanting so badly to be able to ease the suffering of those around me yet unable to do so. All I could think was, and is, my god, if everyone could feel this, if everyone could know what awaits…..if they could know what they are…
But even those of us that see where we are headed forget, and often. The general public doesn’t realize what being connected to the Universe means. It sounds like hocus pocus. I’m not one of those people who is unafraid of telling people what I have discovered. Only two people who know me even know this website exists. I hide my true self from all, because I want me to be ME, not people’s opinion of my beliefs. In all honesty, if I were open about myself to everyone and people loved me, I would help dispel the definite categories that people have for people like me. I’m afraid of rejection just like everyone else.
Sometimes I wonder at why we have been taught the exact opposite of the truth; that we are unique to the universe, separate from everything else. We can’t even feel the connection anymore, we’ve become so blocked off from it by focusing solely on our physical existence. We think that natives and aborigines who still believe these things are beautiful, but that knowledge doesn’t seem to be for us anymore. We are unhappy and have forgotten why.
However, once we tap in to the grand scheme, as I have these past weeks, we see that every single action in the universe is for a purpose. Not only that, but we can feel that even the suffering was planned by us. How many times do we suffer stomach flu, only to appreciate the taste of a simple bowl of rice afterwards? What would be the point of all this if there were no point to it?
Now the feeling is fading. When I listen to the song it doesn’t open the universe to me as it once did. However, I am left with the reminder that I’m on the right path, doing exactly as I should be doing. We have a tendency to feel like we are somehow holding ourselves back…and that very well may be true. We blame ourselves for not meditating more, for not having more mystical experiences. All that is pointless. Sometimes even holding ourselves back is what was meant, as we remember when things come together.
Pt. II ~ Choose Your Diversion
Due to my brother’s incarceration I’m considering writing a petition for his release to be displayed on Change.org, so I’ve been there a lot recently, signing petitions on all sort of subjects. I saw one the other day about a young woman named Mary who suffers from something called myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome. The symptom list is long and basically adds up to having your life stolen from you, removed of every ability to be a normal human being. Zero energy mixed with debilitating pain, topped with the inability to find a doctor that believes there’s anything wrong…and that isn’t even doing the horror of her condition justice. Despite her 25 pills a day, Mary is still suffering.
Please go visit Mary’s WordPress page and sign her petition, to help her raise awareness of ME/CFS. It takes about five minutes.
In a post on her site, Mary gives her email address along with the comical query for anyone who knows the answer to the question of life to email her. No one can give her that answer because every life is its own universe, and something tells me that Mary knows that already. Due to my present state, seeing everything at once in my universe, that answer is clear to me; that she, like myself, have come into this life to experience pain that cannot be cured by common medicine. We have come into this life to know what it means to be judged for reasons seemingly out of our control.
What would make any more sense than to consider that we chose this? If not, then someone or something is doing this to us. What would that be? How can control or creation not be our legacy, when the entire rest of the universe works as it should, by its own rules?
As Mary, I question the truth of not only my own, strange sickness, but myself in the process. As with myself, I see Mary as one integral piece of the big picture of why we are all here and why every life makes perfect sense, just as it is. Is there some Ultimate Truth that can be shared by all? Could there be a possibility that in Mary’s reality, she is not the Universe expressing itself as a human? The very body that imprisons her is formed from the same composition as the oldest galaxies that we can observe.
We don’t watch a supernova explode and think “Omg, that star didn’t handle living very well.” We don’t see a meteor headed our way and think “That so~and~so, how dare it threaten us!” The universe is as it is, its death and life, all the occurrences that we observe are simply…occurrences. We accept all of it without question. But when our lives are seemingly taken away from us by mysterious ailments that most doctors don’t even believe in, we can feel that we’ve been put upon, beset by a fate out of our control, subject to an untruth, something that should not be. I am no exception most days. The helpless feeling comes and goes, exacerbated by others opinions of me.
When humans see something that we don’t understand, such as a person that should be totally normal and healthy but has a sickness that makes them look like a lazy person who has given up on life, we judge them harshly. We take being human so personally, and personal means dual. Separate.
In my universe there is nothing separate. That’s what I’m experiencing right now with this song and the garden and Everything. It’s impossible to convey in any words that do it credit. The butterfly mating dance IS the double bass of the drum, which IS the trajectory of the rogue planet fifteen million light years away and the black hole that it passes, slowly changing its course to be eaten and spat out again as another group of molecules, or the beginnings of another universe entirely.
In those moments that Mary is most happy, on her best days, she is closer to that great Everything. ME/CFS is how Mary’s little speck of the universe is experiencing being human. Maybe she came here to know what it was like to help others, and the way that she’s helping others is to have a sickness no one believes is real, so that she can raise her voice for all those who are too afraid or sad to speak out for themselves. None of us can know. Mary probably doesn’t even know why she came to do this. For all my mystical experiences I don’t know why I have chosen incurable pain for myself. All any of us can do is live the best we can and have as many happy moments as we can claim.
The Dalai Lama is exiled from his own country of Tibet, forced to live in a place that is not his home. Yet he accepts this life, lives it in the best possible way and helps millions of others in the process. While it’s easy to think he has a pretty sweet life, we may have no idea the pain he feels. He just never talks about it because his focus is not self~centered as my own. My own life with all its aches and pains is sweet compared to a young boy in Thailand who sleeps on a filthy concrete floor and spends his days being trafficked for sex. Pain is relative, and if the Dalai Lama had spent his years whining about his life it wouldn’t have been so sweet. He is my hero many days when the pain keeps me bed~bound.
Short of being a Zen master, all we can do is divert our attention from our own suffering long enough to catch one of those euphoric moments. Most of us don’t notice that when something really good happens in our lives (or even really bad), many of our aches and pains lessen or go away entirely. I’ve always thought it was funny that every time I get seriously ill with diverticulitis and am in bed for days, my back and joints don’t hurt, and the pillow doesn’t make my neck feel broken as usual. Instances like that prove to me that there’s more to this pain business than we realize.
I’ve often used the metaphor of a person walking happily down the sunny street who gets a phone call saying that their mother died. Suddenly the sun is too bright, or it gets darker. The world literally changes around them to reflect their inner feelings and emotions.Maybe the headache, which didn’t seem like a big deal before, suddenly begins to throb and becomes unbearable. There are a million little indicators each day that our attitude changes everything, but I’ve learned first hand that having a good attitude doesn’t cure us, no matter how much we think we want to be cured.
As for euphoric times, the more mystical moments we have the worse the bad times feel, and we find that the drive to keep from having bad times is stronger. As humans we basically have to be so down and out that we come to a place where we simply cannot do it anymore. Then we come to that place a thousand more times before something inside of us decides that we are done experiencing a certain thing. No one can judge us for how long it takes to get there.
Each of us walk our own path in our own way, in our own time, to our own beat. Something inside me may very well continue to feel like a cripple that can’t be cured, and I’ll be a cripple for the rest of my life. I don’t want that to be true, but no amount of hating being a cripple, and thusfar no amount of mystical experiences has cured me, though I can say the Eckhardt Tolle “Using Presence for Pain” technique has revolutionized my pain (see the post Ending Physical Pain“). Just the other day I cut the time I was doomed to be in bed in half, a great accomplishment for not being able to see, to walk or to stop throwing up. Days that bad are destined to last 24 hours or more, but I’m changing that. Even when I look really sick on the outside, since employing this technique I have not cried once, nor wished I was dead, as I have so many times before. That, in itself, is amazing.
In those beautiful moments when life looks bigger than my sickness, when it seems there is meaning to my suffering, I dream that maybe there’s a chance for a different life. While it is common for religion to be the choice diversion for many humans, “god” doesn’t have to be our choice. Most people don’t realize that the universe reaches out to each person in their own style.
When I first met what people call God, It was the sun, ushered in by my master as a Viking ship sailed into its light. I love all things Norse, why would “God” not reach out to me through all the symbols that mean joy to me, the very thing that It is made of?
And so my diversions are symphonic black metal. Coffee. Ecstasy. Are each of them just as powerful a trap as suffering? Yes, because the Middle Way is neither joy nor sorrow, but simply Being. We can be addicted to the small, “guilty” pleasures, or highs or lows, but those are the illusions of joy, not the point of this thing we call life. This euphoric time that I’ve been through was only a marker to remind me what comes Next.
After the euphoric times were over I didn’t come crashing down like I used to, I kind of floated to the ground. The song doesn’t affect me in the way that it used to. I’m looking at my fellow humans as something separate from me again, but I’ve retained the memory of being one with that Great Everything. It’s something inside me that won’t ever die, an understanding I will continue to wake up to over and over.
Spiritual teachers will tell you that time does not exist, and that living in the here and now is the greatest gift that we can give ourselves. They are right. Yet here we are, having created this thing that helps us differentiate one moment from the “next”. The Next is itself just a symbol, representing a future moment that will be Now.
In our minds time does exist and, lost in moments, we drown in sleep long before we realize we are no longer awake. It’s something that happens to us over and over as we learn how to stay awake longer and longer. While living in the present moment is the absolute best way to divert ourselves, the simple fact is that without knowing the outcome, many of us don’t know what to strive for. It’s why I elucidate the mystical experience like I do. Without having glimpsed the reason for all suffering, I may have been resigned to pain without any hope of a future.
I got lucky, we shall say, though that is not true. I called an ancient master that I didn’t even believe in, and He came. That’s not to say that it was not time for this to happen in my life, obviously it was or my sister would never have given me the book that told how to summon Him, or I would have never read it because the word God appeared too many times for my then atheist tastes.
Exploration is only one of infinite ways to divert ourselves, and what works for one will not work for others. Our challenges are what we use as contrast to what feels good and what does not. We can use the smallest physical forms such as caffeine addiction, or greater forms such as coming into a world of severe abuse. We can choose mental states like autism and schizophrenia, so inner~world intensive that a person can not even interact with those around them. We can choose to be able to interact with the world but be isolated from it.
I’ve been with my master for over ten years and I’m only now beginning to learn how to begin the process of dealing with my pain. It is a process that could take years more. There must be something I have yet to learn from it, as unhappy as I may be about that.
As with Mary, there’s something tragic and heart~wrenching about looking around and seeing everyone living a normal life and know that you can’t. Going to the grocery store, playing tennis. Unlike Mary, I can go to the grocery store without problems, but I can’t garden, mow the lawn, take long walks or exercise to lose weight. We are learning the greater or lesser degrees of being left behind by the world, being isolated from making all our dreams come true. I have certainly thought to myself, “If this pain was done there’s nothing I couldn’t accomplish!” Maybe once I learn my lesson that’s exactly what I’ll go out and do, but for now I’m being grounded by myself, might as well make the best of it, and I’m heartened by the way Mary lemonades the hell out of her lemons. For now, I can rest in the knowledge that I did this to myself for a damned good reason, even if I don’t know what that reason is. Mary is living her life with her own style. She’s living life like the Dalai Lama. He isn’t someone special, he’s the part of she and I that figured out the pain part, at least as much as any human can.
In the language of the common man I’ll give some advice. For now, use time to your advantage. Use whatever makes you happy to divert your attention away from your thoughts and your suffering. If your diversion hurts you in some way, keep in mind that you are paying a price for being diverted. The ultimate goal is to get to a place joyful enough that you don’t need diversion anymore.
Sometimes you’re just going to fall apart, and sometimes you won’t. The more you divert yourself, the higher a vibration you hold your physics at, the more of a chance you’ll have of experiencing a euphoric time. The more of those times you have the more powerful they get, and the more powerful they get the more “coming down” feels less like the direction you want to go. Sometimes that process takes years, or even a lifetime. But one day you’ll have an epiphany that everything is just like it’s supposed to be, and that knowing that can make it okay. Only when you accept that can you feel the utter bliss of making each next moment a now, accepting each now just as it is.
Pt. III ~ The Endurance of Aeons
Note to self and others: stop judging the ways in which we divert ourselves! Music that’s spiritual for some is a cacophony to others, as you’re about to find out. Most people would not listen to the music that makes a cosmos of me and think it was good for anything but devil worship when, in fact, it is what put me on this path in the first place.
Imagine the worst song on the radio that you can think of, one that makes your eye twitch every time it comes on. There is someone out there that gains great strength and healing from that song, someone who has been changed forever by what that frivolous, seemingly~meaningless song has meant to them. Golf looks boring to me, but there’s someone out there flying through the cosmos as they are walking along the golf course from hole to hole. I don’t like to think about people dressing like everyone else because it makes them fit in, but every human alive wants to fit in, and some are so bruised and alone that they would do anything in their power to be noticed, accepted. Loved. How dare I make a judgment about that!
If you don’t like one spiritual teacher, that means that there’s another one out there suited for you. So often I hear spiritual people talking down about the new age “Law of Attraction” community, or the Klemp Eckists (which I, myself, am guilty of). Eventually, we find that every spiritual teacher is simply stating a personalized part of the same whole, and we realize that what we are searching for is Within. It sure helps having many tools at our disposal until then.
We read books, we listen to music. We shop excessively or gossip. Or we do hard drugs, or kill someone. Depending on how low we are we’ll go to all sorts of extremes to feel better, and feeling better is key. Does that mean that it’s okay to kill someone or do hard drugs? How do you think you got here? Lifetimes ago you experienced what hate and horror were like, and you learned that part. You don’t need that anymore, you’re purified. You’re up ahead on that part of the path, just as the Dalai Lama may be ahead of you on the Painless Way. Or not. He just turned 75, he may have arthritis in his knees from sitting like that all the time. And then again, he may not.
Whatever diversion we choose, this is a neverending process. Eventually you won’t need diversion anymore. Eventually, when your used to living in the present moment, you can drop the diversions and get on with life. We’re going against all the odds here! We are un~learning what falsities have been learned, reprogramming ourselves to remember what’s been lost.Eckie Tolle talks a lot about how our pain is in our DNA, something that we’ve carried for a very, very long time. It takes time to get rid of it. Or it can take one second. Our choice.
If you’re into eating a whole box of chocolate when you’re sad, stop bludgeoning yourself over the head about it and just enjoy it! My personal addiction is food, and as “spiritual” as I get, I can’t shake the obsession with it. If it’s something you can’t seem to control, stop fighting against it and work on accepting that part of you. It’s not able to be controlled because it’s trying to be accepted. “But what if I accept that part of me and then gain 100 lbs?” you ask? I asked that too. We don’t want to be one of those people walking around that stuffs themselves in tiny little clothes they shouldn’t be wearing, because they don’t care what others think of them. I say they are my heroes, every one. And besides, the more I accept myself the more weight I lose.
Reach for the better feeling thing every chance you get.
And so, without further ado, and to prove just how different our cosmic diversions can be, here’s the song that ushered in this new era of my life. I had to make my own YouTube video for the song because there wasn’t one. It’s my first video ever so it’s blurry and not very good, so bear with me. And if you can’t stand to listen to it, turn it down and watch my journey into the cosmos.